Reflection

28 09 2013

I meant to make this reflective post days ago, but for one reason and another (not because of my riding lesson on Monday) I have been feeling very tired this week, both emotionally and physically. Now I have the time and energy to do it and I don’t know where to start.

I would like to thank everyone who replied to my previous post with words of encouragement – you have all really helped me to feel better about things. Ordinarily I do like to reply to comments individually because I think it’s more personal then, but while each of you made quite different reassuring and helpful points, the message I have in return to each of you is the same, and it’s a sincere thank you.

In trying to focus on some positives, I haven’t been able to pick anything out from that last lesson, but I have been recalling my fond memories of all the excitement of the bits of Historic Equitation that went really well and how much fun I had, and the pony trek at Exmoor, which I came away from not only feeling like a calm and competent rider, but in fact surprised at myself by how unphased I was for the full duration of it. Sure, I had a bad lesson at the start of the week, but being able to ride continuously over open moorland for three hours including a fair amount of cantering shows I’m a competent rider? And cantering in a straight line while lowering a British Army lance to knock over a tent peg in the sand?

True to what others have said, I do think I expect a lot of myself, I am very hard on myself when things go wrong, and I do take it to heart when things don’t go how I intend them to. I think I just need to chill and learn to take the lows in my stride. Easier said than done perhaps, but it’s always going to come back to this, isn’t it?

As it happens I do not have a riding lesson at the usual time on Monday. Nothing to do with the lesson last week, I have an appointment elsewhere and it’s impossible to get a substitute private lesson at my yard without booking time off work and going in the daytime. Nevertheless, I think that the week out might do me good; it might help me to put the last lesson further behind me, so that I’m eager for the next one when it comes.

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2 responses

30 09 2013
The Dancing Rider

Such a nice entry. I find reading how hard you are on yourself about riding reminds me of how I was when I ice skated. It took me 11 years to reach the point where I realized I should be enjoying my activities. Not beating myself up over them. I don’t know if this will be the case with you and riding, as I can see you LOVE riding. Remember to take a step back now and then, and recall that you love the sport (as do I) and do something just for the pure enjoyment of riding. As you did with Historic Equitation and your trek. And you had so much fun at those. Lows often produce compensating highs! Happy Riding! Will look forward to your next lesson!

6 10 2013
Soapy Photo Girl

Thank you! My next lesson is tomorrow. I’m really looking forward to seeing the horses and my usual instructor again; if I feel funny about anything, it’s the other riders, but to hell with it!

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